Here comes that old Millennium I have been becoming a little paranoid about the coming millennium lately. What is the millennium anyhow? Well, millennium thought arises from the correlation of general apocalypticism with a specific numerical theory about a forthcoming end of time. A period of 1,000 years, as defined in the bible. The traditional christian millennium is defined as a future epoch that will last for 1,000 years and end with a final battle and the last judgment day of all the dead. All the dead will rise and be judged and take their places either in heaven or hell.
So here it comes, The Great Millennium, the 21st century... huge sales at Macy's, the Wiz TV blow out, another Snoopy special on tv, the Who reunite to do Tommy one more time, all the damned returning to earth to fight it out in one last bloody battle of fire and brimstone with all the poor losers cast into the eternal fire, oh yeah...like I said another Who tour...
A bunch of past predictions of the end of the millennium have come and and gone, often with tragic results, i.e., millenniuarism drives many radical groups who behold the firm belief that the imminent end of time is approaching, hence their willingness to engage in hopeless revolts, endure torture, or rob the local 7-11, or commit suicide because their spaceship has arrived, and is now parking behind Halle-Bopp. Take the Millerites, in the 1840's in the USA, who believed that the day of reckoning was a comin, 1st supposedly on March 21, 1843, nope nothin happened, ok, then how about say March 21, 1844, nah still nuthin, ok let's try October 22, 1844. Still nuthin, Oh well. The Great Dissapointment, kinda like the NY Mets. These jokers have evolved into 7th Day Adventists and Jehovahs witness'. The massacre of native americans at Wounded Knee was the result of the whites misunderstanding of a native american millennial ritual, ok so they proclaimed that all whites should die and they were gonna be the one's to do it. Just a misunderstanding, see.
OK, so we know we are screwed, but when are we screwed? There is little agreement as to when the millennium actually is, January 1, 2000 or 2001. The discrepency goes back to the 6th century monk Dionysius Exiguus, who defined the current chronology of years. Well, unfortunately, they didn't have the concept of zero yet, so the beginning of time ended up being year 1, oops...so maybe the 1st decade of a century only has 9 years. None of it matters though since the human calender is a completely arbitrary thing, not based on any precise astronomical graduation of the planets or moon. Kind stupid aren't we? It could have been so simple.
I guess the true implications of the millennium will happen on 1/1/2000 since on that day all computers will crash, all records of humanity will be erased (well not really i guess). A new judment day will be upon us, all our credit problems will vanish, no more mortgage payments or phone bills. Our judgment will be made by the o wise one Bill Gates, who no doubt has the solution to this problem in his desk draw, waiting to the eve of destruction to whip it out for a price no person can fathom in the 20th century.. He alone will be King of the 21st century, the Billennium we shall call it, and it will be Good, the Light will come from Him and shine upon us.
go - by terra incognita