The Soapbox: Rants and Commentary: Virgin Newspapers and Anal Retentitiveness Composed by Mike O'Leary (muchsarcasm@yahoo.com) I must vent so please be patient: I was at work at the front desk of my dorm about 2 hours ago. At the desk we hold the newspapers of those people that get them delivered to the dorms, since they don't fit in the mailboxes. So me and my co-worker were reading a New York Times. A girl came in and wanted her newspaper. It seems that we were reading her paper. We folded it up and gave it to her. So far so good. Now I should tell you that today the building manager was doing interviews for positions next semester, and all calls were automatically transfered to the desk. Now, we got a transfered call. My co-worker picked it up. It was the girl who didn't realize she was talking to the desk folk asked to leave a message for the building manager complaining that the people at the desk were reading her newspapers. My co-worker said she'd leave the message. Now this is where I was TOTALLY baffled. I read the paper. I found out how my hockey team is doing. I read the review of "Volcano." I folded the paper to its original configuration. Now if she wants to do the same things, she CAN. I don't have some sort of heat vision that alters the written word. A newspaper does not have some sort of virginity which can be lost by reading it. So a few minutes later she calls the desk. This time it's not a transfered call. I pick it up since if my co-worker were to pick it up the girl would recognize her voice. She began to complain that we should not be reading her newspapers. I told her I would no longer read her papers, but very curious, I asked her what difference it made if I read her paper beforehand. She started yelling that it was none of my business, "I pay $120 to get my newspapers," and "it's my property." Showing ENORMOUS restraint, possibly doing severe damage to my sarcastic centers of my brain, I wanted to know (with a straight answer) how me reading her newspaper affected her reading her newspaper ("affect", the verb, may have been to advanced a concept). She basically reitterated what she said before (i.e. it's some big secret) but also added she doesn't like it because when I put the paper back together "it looks terrible." I put it back, in order, and as neatly as possible. No, it doesn't look like it came out of a newsstand but it is neat. (Maybe this is the newspaper's virginity) I'm mad because 1) She didn't say this to my face despite the fact that she had every opportunity to do as such. 2) Despite asking her twice what the big deal was she didn't give me any real answers beside "It's mine" (read: "I'm anal") Back To Rants and Commentary

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