The Soapbox: Rants and Commentary: A Cry for Quality Television Composed by David Anderson, Jr.(oommp@webspan.net) Television. Now, I realize it is extraordinarily easy to take a shot at modern day television. Hell, it is like shooting fish in a barrel. However, I think if we protest and balk enough maybe someone, anyone, will hear out cries of pain. I'm watching this 'Home & Garden' style show and the host is trying to bring a little humor to the program, a laudable goal to say the least. However, this gentleman wasn't as funny as even that public ass Bob Saget from America's Funniest Home Videos. This guy was morbidly unfunny. His show was about sod busting, the act of pulling up grass to prepare for a garden or some sort. Now, before the show started I knew that cowboys of the old west found the practice of sod busting to be distasteful. They registered their complaints with the usual tact and graciousness of the times; they shot the sod busters. I realize this might even be considered an eclectic fact but it is a fact none the less. So, this gentleman on the show decided it will be entertaining if he dresses up like a dime store Roy Rogers and bumbles with the twirling of two toy pistols. What's wrong with this? Well, the shows producers should probably watch it and say, "This isn't funny." I read an article about the abhorrent condition modern television programming is in currently. In it an ABC representative stated, 'We'd put more quality on television but the American viewing public doesn't like it." I've got to wonder if it is a case of we are eating the only meal that is currently being served. I personally avoid network television like I avoid criminal prosecution for that time I... err.. never mind. I watch a very select few shows when I do subject myself to television. They are Mystery Science Theater 3000, Babylon 5, Dennis Miller Live, Sporting Events, and Mystery Science Theater 3000. That's it. However, I have to pay Adelphia Cable close to $40.00 a month for the privilege of watching these select few shows. Perhaps some day cable television will be a lot like the Internet. You pay your monthly fee and there will be so much out there it will be a joy just to search for stuff. Hell, I subscribe to an Internet news service to tell me about what movies are coming on the next day so I may plan my television watching time. And perhaps that is the secret; planning. Take this challenge. Don't turn on the tube unless you have something specific you are going to watch. This means don't turn on the set to waste a little time. Read a book or listen to some music instead. This way, perhaps we can start turning on our minds instead of our TV's. If everyone in the US did this mayhaps we could evolve just a little bit. Maybe, just maybe, the name of Iago would be as well known as J.R. Ewing. Wouldn't that be a fun world? Hey, I can have my dreams. David Anderson, Jr., oommp@webspan.net Back To Rants and Commentary

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