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THE LAUGHING PLACE

Fun Things to Do in an Elevator

  • Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, damnit, all of you just shut UP!"

  • Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.

  • Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

  • Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.

  • Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

  • When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

  • Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

  • Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

  • Meow occasionally.

  • Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

  • Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

  • Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

  • Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

  • When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"

  • Say "Ding!" at each floor.

  • Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

  • Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

  • Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

  • Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

  • Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

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