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Blaize O'Glory's

POST-MORTEM HALL OF FAME



Here are some recent additions to the Hall. They are listed alphabetically, the newest residents marked . The Archives start here.

Aaraknai: Donna Silvhain (shiva69@aol.com)
Female Mage, D and D D20
CAUSE OF DEATH: Araknai's magic studies focused on all the powers of the spider. She had cast Webstorm (fills an entire 200ft room with thousands of webs) at two fleeing monsters, effectively trapping them. Unfortunately, the room was far to small for the big spell, and she and her party were also immobilized. That made it difficult to run when the torches the trolls were carrying set the webbed room ablaze.
EPITAPH: Oh, what a messy web she'd weave,
She's all burnt up, and now we grieve.


Antoine Phallen, Trunto: Steven Lee (steelee@morningstar.tv)
Male Human Cleric, Human Warrior, D and D D20
CAUSE OF DEATH: Returning to camp from town with supplies, the party's wizard and warrior were attacked. The warrior (Trunto) was killed after being beaten beyond recognition, but the wiz made his corpse undead to transport him back to camp. At the camp, when Antoine saw the wizard hurrying back and the strange zombie loping behind, he used Turn Undead, unknowing reducing his friend to ashes. The wizard fireballed him in anger.
EPITAPH: Death by Clerical Error


Azriq: Darren Natelli
Level 9 Wizard, D&D D20
CAUSE OF DEATH: After an attcking sea serpent capsized the ship Azriq and his party were traveling on, he used his final spell to bring down the creature. Lesson #1: never use electricity to attack a monster if you're up to your neck in the same body of water.
EPITAPH: Over there! Why is Azriq getting all twitchy and glowing?


Ballistic, The Human Missle:
Superhero, Homebrewed "Superpowers" game
CAUSE OF DEATH: Used an alien "Power Magnifier" to increase his powers -- high body density and supersonic running speed -- but got too greedy and left the Magnifier on too long. He took off after the Villain of the Week, smashed through every building and vehicle in his path, skimmed across the Pacific Ocean, and straight up the side of Mount Fugi. It worked like a ramp, launching him into outer space. He died from the vaccuum, and his body impacted with a star 10,000 years later.
EPITAPH: It's not speed that kills, it's the lack of brakes.


Bellicane : Steve Q
Wizard, D & D
CAUSE OF DEATH: Wizard Combat Rule #1: When confronting a polymorphed-to-troll wizard in his study, never cast rays of heat and fire. They tend to heat the many shelves of highly volitile potions behind him. And the stacks of old, worn, flammable books and scrolls. And the wooden door that was to be your escape route.
EPITAPH: Sorry, Bellicane, you're fired. Literally.


Bimple Thistelcrow: Jeremiah Spray (drunkendragon87@hotmail.com)
Male Halfling thief, AD&D
CAUSE OF DEATH: While riding through the Forest of Brigands, Bimple and his party came upon a group of Brigands (imagine that). The fighter headlong into the ranks. The mage started with support magic. Bimple stood up on his saddle, pulled out his trusty club and short sword and lept of his pony. He rolled a 1! The resulting fall only did 3 damage, but he tumbled into 5 brigands. Being small, they stabbed him into the ground. 36 damage later, he was a mangled pile.
EPITAPH: He was fat, but he was flashy!


Brage: Kim Pedersen (krp@bryggemail.dk)
Male Human Fighter, D&D 3E
CAUSE OF DEATH: Brage's party was questing for the lost Grave of Donovan. The location of a key could only be surmised from a surly gnome, who played a classic game: Look into one of three boxes, one hides the key, the two other...well. Brage looked into the box with a medusa's head (a classic oldie). Turned to stone, the group's Mage used his last wish: 'Turn this man back into flesh.' And poof, Brage was alive, back in the flesh, but without a skeleton to keep him in shape. He was subsequently mercy killed by party members.
EPITAPH: Be very careful how you phrase wishes. Your words are the backbone of the result!


Cedric Valeshar: Andrew Wilson (templar_rlw@yahoo.com)
Male Human Ranger, D&D 3rd
CAUSE OF DEATH: After being stripped of his hard-earned gear and left with substandard materials, brave Cedric was tasked with assaulting a fortress of Trolls. One item which he was able to purchase before leaving town was a necklace of fireballs. He was able to use one, and only one, of the fireballs before being overrun by the trolls. At the last moment, as his life faded, he crushed the remaining globes.
EPITAPH: At least he went out with a bang...and there was nothing left for the necromancers.


Conduit: Mike Myrse
(colowaps@versys.net), GURPS Supers
CAUSE OF DEATH: Conduit was a sentient hologram that could superconduct energy. He drew all the energy from inside cockpit of the villain's transport craft and blasted his enemy and the hull behind him. Too bad the craft was lying on the bottom of the ocean.
EPITAPH: Botched blast blew-up baddies, but brought bad backfire. Bubbles. Blub.


Desdemona Galla: MidnightFae
Vampire, Masquerade
CAUSE OF DEATH: Her and a band of other Anachs are on a mission to raid the Tremere chantry - armed to the teeth. Sneaking up on her opponent, who doesn't even know she's there, she quietly takes aim... and prompty shoots herself in the head.
EPITAPH: I think I've got this pointing the right way...


Freylin: Paul (spam@starfire.ws)
type, 3e D&D
CAUSE OF DEATH: While adventuring upon the iron cube of Kolyoral upon the plane of Acheron, a pair of Rocs thought Freylin looked tasty. After a bite they changed their minds and threw the poor halfling away... who promptly got up and rushed back into the fray only to be picked up, bit and thrown again. The second 90 ft splat was more then she could take.
EPITAPH: Poor Freylin, caught between a Roc and a Hard Place.


Froggy : Cody Robertson (zanian0@hotmail.com)
Male Humanoid Frog Adventurer, Tales From the Floating Vagabond
CAUSE OF DEATH: Froggy loved explosives. So much that he carried around 200 vials of Nitroglycerin on his body. After arriving on a Space Nazi planet, he made some comments that a giant monkey with a baseball bat didn't like. The monkey swung away. After the smoke cleared there was nothing left of the frog, but the monkey remained unscratched.
EPITAPH: With Nitro he was loaded, until he exploded /
at the Pearly Gates he arrived, but that damn monkey survived!


Grevic Therinsbold: Mark Elbert (Myrrdral20@yahoo.com)
Male Dwarven Cleric, ADnD
CAUSE OF DEATH: Opened a trapped Chest. (exploding) Removed Head after botching save. Happened just after destroying a lich.. literally.. Like, 30 seconds.
EPITAPH: His ghost still haunts the crypt. Insanely gibbering (*%^@-ing Thief "Nope, no traps on this Chest" I'm gonna find him...)


J4X: Su Raja (Su_Raja_Dezolis@hotmail.com)
Female Cybernetically-enhanced Human, Star Ocean 2 RPG
CAUSE OF DEATH: J4X (or Jacks as she came to be known) was a little bit nuts. She had a habit of doing things nobody understood (technology person on non-tech world, do the maths). So when they stumbled across the buried room full of shiney silver boxes, nobody was surprised when she started messing about with the funny-looking strings inside. *BOOM* She accidentally tripped a self-defense mechanism. Everyone else survived, but she was at point-blank range.
EPITAPH: DM: You rolled a one? *roll roll* Bye bye, birdseye.
Player: ... Spoot.


Jason Argo: Jan Knoell (mogo@rrv.net)
Male Titan, Cosmo Knight, RIFTS
CAUSE OF DEATH: Jason was fighting Splugorth Slaver ships on the high seas. He got the brilliant idea to fly 90,000 feet and dive bomb the slavers to wipe out at least one barge and make the rest run. However, when he got to the slave barge he was moving at mach 6. He destroyed all the barges, all of the innocents in the water, and nearly his own group. He remains as a giant manhole cover on the bottom of the ocean.
EPITAPH: When the GM asks 3 times if that is what you REALLY want to do? Take a second and think about your actions.


Kenshi: Steve Clark (yevgeny_nourish@yahoo.com)
Male 4th Level Wu Tang Monk (don't ask), Rifts
CAUSE OF DEATH: The group was battling an earth elemental. We had been fighting nothing but earth elementals for about a month, so we all knew the drill. Our earth elementals all exploded when they were destroyed, so I hung back and shot the thing with arrows. My dwarven comrade was whacking at it with an axe, trying to help a female NPC who was cowering behind a force field. I ran out of arrows fairly quickly, so I just said "f**k it" and jumped into battle with my sword drawn. I was about halfway through my leap when the dwarf struck the killing blow to the elemental. Like all the others, the elemental exploded, killing me, vaporizing the female NPC, and not quite killing the dwarf.
EPITAPH: We hate to say it, but it was his own damn fault.


Kiljor Steel: Sean Oeder (Kiljor2@yahoo.com)
Male Elven Bounty Hunter, WFRP
CAUSE OF DEATH: While fighting off the ogre with his mighty magical sword, his friend Fenris the Dwarf decides to help him out, by shooting the crossbow he'd found at the ogre. Fenris missed the ogre, but managed to hit Kiljor square in the back, taking away the last fate point he had. The ogre then squashed him flat.
EPITAPH: Morale of this story is don't let short archers shoot from BEHIND you.


Laita Demser: Angie Alfonse
Female Elven F/M, AD&D
CAUSE OF DEATH: Protecting the blacksmith who was repairing her intelligent sword, she ended up battling a LARGE blue dragon. Fumbling an attack and landing on her face (16 dex!), the dragon picked her up by her right leg and shake her like a rag doll until the leg ripped free from the body (4 rounds later). The last thing Laita saw was the dragon swallowing her leg as she flew headfirst into a rock (critical hit from the dragon). The blacksmith survived the encounter; he was a level 0 fighter.
EPITAPH: I shoulda been a Blacksmith.


Liander Razorwood: JOhn Poniske (Fuzzball@vampirethemasquerade.com)
Male Elven Fighter, AD&D 3rd
CAUSE OF DEATH: Exploring ahead of the party, Good old Liander discovered a magically trapped door. Thinking he couldn't open it, he used his all purpose back up plan: he pointed his Rod of Wonder at it and exploded the door, which resulted in a Lighting Bolt that literally blasted him out of his boots, and made him an Elf shaped charcoal briquette.
EPITAPH: The price of initiative / Is a barbeque in your honor.


Lore Ain: Marcus E. Burchers
Male 4th-level Lizardman Fighter, AD&D 2nd Edition Revised
CAUSE OF DEATH: While searching the forest hoping to end a gnoll threat, hunger called him. He faced a choice between a bush of dry, shrivelled berries, or a bush of bright, red, healthy ones. The more appealing option ended up being the wrong one as the better-looking berries turned out to be red-hot peppers. Four gnolls attacked hearing Lore Ain's scream of pain. The battle was short.
EPITAPH: You always were of greater brawn than brain.


Lucky: Sean Oeder (Kiljor2@yahoo.com)
Male Halfling Thief, WFRP
CAUSE OF DEATH: While exploring the vampires castle, Lucky decided to explore the dark basement all by himself. Much to his dismay the Earth Elemental down there didn't like being disturbed and promptly swallowed him whole. He did not die as a result of this though. The party searching for him came across the Elemental and began fighting it. As they beat the elemental down it began to shrink in size. When they finally defeated it the were left with a rather messy ball of compressed halfling.
EPITAPH: Hey, Hey I'm in here! Hey guys it's getting a little hard to move! Hey you wanna stop beat-. *Crunch*


NEWMajor Epic: Dave Church (dave_church@yahoo.com)
Male Human Superhero, Champions RPG
CAUSE OF DEATH: Engaged in heroic battle with Utax the Untameable. Flexing his mighty pecs he molded the manhole cover into a pie shape (better aerodynamics) and threw it at the alien villian. The loathsome villian caught it, spun with its motion and threw it back at Major Epic. The spinning steel disk embedded itself in his chest. The force of the blow then hurled him backwards, impaling him onto a broken flag pole. He managed one final salute to the flag before Death tapped him on the shoulder.
EPITAPH: Loved the flag and the apple pie. Hated the flag pole and the pie dish.


Marcus: Doug
Male Human Paladin, AD&D
CAUSE OF DEATH: Lit a torch in sewers only seconds after killing a monster that gave off a stench (methane)...you can guess the rest. Bye-bye to half the city.
EPITAPH: Oh Marcus, why did i put an 8 on your intelligence?


Momento, Master of Momentalism.: Ron Lamb (evilscientist_@hotmail.com)
Male Nova (superhuman), Aberrant
CAUSE OF DEATH: On a rescue mission in the Kashmir DMZ, Momento botched his Stealth roll sneaking out of a bunker, so actually walked blatently out, humming a jaunty tune. Unfortunately there was an enemy Nova circling above at the time. One hyperspeed divebombing later and Momento's head was twenty feet away from where it should've been.
EPITAPH: Look! Up in the sky! No, seriously, look!!!


Notiekie Gomato: DarkPhenix (drkphenix@msn.com)
Male, ex-Yakuza in witness protection, Dark Conspiracy
CAUSE OF DEATH: Tieke formed the group to rescue the woman he secretly loved. During a high-speed boat chase down the river Thames, Tieke jumped Jackie Chan-style from the team's fast moving boat onto the kidnappers'. He made his jump, but was shot in the groin by the two remaining baddies. His remaining 9mm pistols failed to penetrate the enemy's bulletproof vests. The party then assaulted the kidnappers' warehouse, rescued the woman, and took off, leaving their "good buddy" to bleed to death in the bottom of the boat.
EPITAPH: Alas poor Notiekie, for he fought so well. Never before had a man survived five blown-up Harleys, a building collapse, and a dark lord, yet felled by his thoughtless allies.


Nuke, aka William Starin: Shell Stell (theunchartedwastes@hotmail.com)
Female Human Pyro .. I mean Wizard, D&D 3E - RTTOEE Module
CAUSE OF DEATH: 1st Cause of Death: After firballing his way into the fire temple and declaring that the evil cultists there in would not be immune to his fireballs and then memorizing just about all spell slots as Fireball He got an altar dropped on him and was cone of colded to death ...

2nd cause of death: His companion a pixie assassin resurected him, and then killed him when Nuke decided not to continue with the adventure...


EPITAPH: He went to the Firey pits of hell... atleast he will be happy

Nyhn: H Y
Female Human Burglar, WFRP
CAUSE OF DEATH: Killed by other PCs while posessing the Crown of Sorcery (a sentient crown made to be the ultimate necromancer's tool). Tried to use the Crown to raise an undead army and conquer the nation of the the dead. Turned herself in to a lich.
EPITAPH: You have reached and reached and finally failed. Now even though you reach you will never be hailed. (Turned in to a Ghost)


Nym Ilphukiir: TJ Schmid (www.livejournal.com/~katsu_kun)
Male Aasimaar Cleric, D&D
CAUSE OF DEATH: We had broken into an abandoned cabin to find out what happened to the owner. The room looked empty except for some furniture: table, chairs, dresser, a desk with no chair by it. Sitting on the desk was a list of creatures that the cabin's previous owner was trying to capture. on that list, one of the creatures that was checked off was a Mimic (shapeshifter). I turned around to warn the rest of the party to watch out, as the desk suddenly sprouted tentacles and killed me.
EPITAPH: "Lets see.....wyrmling white dragon...dire boar...mimic...MIMIC!??!! Hey guys, watch ou---GACK!"


Robert: Robert (Kardgar@yahoo.com)
Male Human, Call Of Cuthulu
CAUSE OF DEATH: Robert had a taste for explosives. Any situation, no matter how delicate or subtle, could be improved with a little C4. He and the party ran up against what appeared to be Sephroth from FF7. After being througly worked over by this boss, Rob decided to give the man a hug..and detonated the 6 pounds of C4 straped to his body. The DM was rolling D-Percent dice for quite some time.
EPITAPH: "Counter Attack Spell: LEVEL ONE DEATH!"


Sara O'Conner: Sean Oeder (Kiljor2@yahoo.com)
Female Solo, Cyberpunk
CAUSE OF DEATH: On the Land of the Free Adventure, 20 mins. into the game, the dirgible she and the party were riding on was attacked by air pirates. The dirgible was struck, opening a giant hole in it. She was sucked out of the hole with one swift failure of a dex check. 10,000 ft. is a long way down.
EPITAPH: Whoops! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....!


Sentetsuno Buta: Dan Lemcke (dlemcke@utdallas.edu)
Male Hengeyokai Wujen, D&D 3E Oriental Adventures
CAUSE OF DEATH: Our party thought we had just killed the invisible, poisonous dragon, but something was still attacking us from the big, steaming, poisonous lake. Buta decided to fireball the top of the lake and burn the dragon out. Turns out the poisonous mist was highly flammable, as was the dragon's corrupt breath weapon. The annoyed dragon poked its snout on the lake and breathed on us. Between corruption damage and fire damage, everyone but the Shaman and his dire wolf were wiped out.
EPITAPH: GM: "This is because you killed the dragon in three turns. It should have lasted a lot longer."


Simon Carlyle: Goober ( josh@evolvefish.com)
Male Corrupt DEA Agent with a good heart, Conspiracy X
CAUSE OF DEATH: Simon and his cohorts were cruising in a stolen cloaked UFO, chasing a tractor-trailer filled with drugs. He hooked himself up to the safety cable and descended from the UFO as it flew above the semi. The trailer opened up, revealing several guys with large, automatic weapons. He popped two grenades and told the pilot to accelerate but not above 700 miles-per-hour. The pilot, not used to what the alien flyer, critically botched her piloting. The ship lunged up to Mach 7. The explosion from shattering the sound barrier made our poor agent hamburger on a nylon rope.
EPITAPH: The Sound Barrier is, in fact, a physical wall.


Thibauld Mestophiles: Morcades (morcades@velocity.net)
Male Free Lance Secret Agent, Psi World
CAUSE OF DEATH: Marooned on a planet consisting of killer vegetation driven by a sentient planetary life force. He was absorbed into the collective life force of the planet after being trapped and slowly digested in a pod. The GM is still snickering 12 years later.
EPITAPH: Alas, I am now one with the Planet....literally!


Tremayne: Ellyndia (http://www.geocities.com/mssnape_34/)
Male Vanirathan 10th level Sorcerer (custom race), D&D d20
CAUSE OF DEATH: Tremayne was originally Flame Striked to death, but since the rest of the party hated him (he betrayed them to an evil NPC), they had some fun with him after his death. They looted his corpse, and cast Speak with Dead, while proceeding to scalp his head and cut off his hand. Then they animated his corpse, set him on fire (with alcohol and flame), and then cut him in two. His legs could still be seen running around the forest outside town.
EPITAPH: "Oh Tremayne \ Such a pain \ Drove us insane \ For that we maimed" - the PCs.


Wallis: Tobias_the _invincible
Male human monk, AD&D
CAUSE OF DEATH: The group was fighting a barbed devil. In trying to hit it, the creature grabbed Wallis and skewered him on itself. He died trying to squirm free of the creature.
EPITAPH: He was always a holey monk...


Zox: Doug Dillenger
Alien superhero, GURPS Supers
CAUSE OF DEATH: Zox left his nearly-deserted world to become a defender of justice on Earth. (He drew energy from the subconscious minds of sentient beings.) He had a series of adventures to test his alien physiology and the limits of his powers, but had missed all the clues about what his weakness was. During a routine fight over Manhattan, the villain was thrown from a skyscraper, landing in the harbor, and Zox dove in after him. As he was dissolving into nothingness, he realized that his weakness was salt water.
EPITAPH:


Zhushow: Tom
Samauri, Samauri D20
CAUSE OF DEATH: We were persuing a teleporting demon for many days. While the party kept him busy, I climbed a 30 ft tall bluff behind him, and drew my sword. I made an extraordinary leap at him, but my mid-air battle howl got his attention. He blinked away, I sailed past where he was standing, and fatally slammed into a stone wall.
EPITAPH: You want stealth? Next time, get a ninja.


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This document was originally created on 6/5/96. Web page © Dan O'Leary