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presents
Here are the Hall Archives in alphabetical order. The newest residents are located here.
Lance Hunter: Jason Olson (Fuzzball@vampirethemasquerade.com)
Male Brujah Business Man, Vamire: The Masquerade
CAUSE OF DEATH: Lance ends up getting in to a knife fight with a Brujah-Antitribu (also his sire). They both have two points of celerity (their movements are blurred) and over the course of the first six rounds (18 actions apiece) both proceded to barely miss/dodge each other constantly with every action, finally sadly the next three rounds saw lance lose his arms, followed by his head.
EPITAPH: "It's was like Dragon Ball Z, but with knives"
Lazarus Stone: Travis Hewitt (travis_hewitt@hotmail.com)
Male Wizard, Palladium
CAUSE OF DEATH: Sadly, Lazarus was attempting a scroll conversion (at level one) and was quite unsucessfull (rolling an 87) and was struck down by a call lightning spell doing 32 damage to his 18 H.P.
EPITAPH: "Wait until a higher level to atempt scroll conversions." -- Cyrus Stone, brother
"Leech": indigo shift (mitc2932@uidaho.edu)
Male vampyre, Nightlife
CAUSE OF DEATH: A very bad sense of humor: Leech tried to sneak up and "surprise" the party wyght, who was damn near a walking tank. Fortunately for the player, normal death is merely an annoyance in Nightlife: he came back 24 hours later, much the worse for wear. This started what was known as the "arms race" in that campaign: all the players tried to jack up their skills and edges in order to beat one another. Leech died many times. The "roleplaying game of urban horror" was turning into the "roleplaying game of urban slapstick".
EPITAPH: "hey guys, watch this! i'm going to sneak up on the guy who can bench press his harley..." *splork!!*
Leon Kirk: Mat Pursall (MPursall@Freenet.co.uk)
Male Investigator, Cthulhu
CAUSE OF DEATH: Leon and companions have discovered the secret temple to the black pharoe (Nyarlathotep, in the pyramid. Leon is sitting on the throne "investigating" as his companions begin to light the jewels which act to summon the black pharoe himself. quote " what's happening, how did you light those gems" "I just touched them and they lit" DM Leon what are you doing (1 Gem lit) "Investigating the throne" DM Leon what are you doing (2 Gem lit) "Investigating the throne" DM Leon what are you doing (3 Gem lit) "Investigating the throne" DM Leon what are you doing (4 Gem lit) "Investigating the throne" DM Leon what are you doing (5 Gem lit) "Investigating the throne" etc until all eight are lit nyarlathotep appears, possses any one sitting in his throne (which saves the party from a major san roll D10 instead of d100 and leaves the putifying and rotting corpse behind.
EPITAPH: OOPS
Linc the Multitalented: Michael Bugg (MdBugg@aol.com)
Male half-Elven Fighter/Mage/Thief, AD&D
CAUSE OF DEATH: Fired an arrow (normal, not enchanted or enhanced in any way!) at Tiamat, who up till then had been ignoring him in favor to the PC who was trying to use an artifact to return her to her own plane. Tiamat glanced at him, annoyed, and breathed on him with her black head. What little that was left (mostly a stain on the floor), was sucked into the gate the other PC had opened to get rid of the Dragon Queen. Quote his player: "C'mon guys! He can still be ressurected! Get a squeegie or something!"
EPITAPH: Alas, he should have saved his arrows for the zillion draconians the DM put there to keep him and the rest of the party occupied.
Liv "Plök" the Rogue: Kim (flaviander@yahoo.dk)
Female Human Rogue, D&D, 3E
CAUSE OF DEATH: Plök and her 3 fourth-level compatriots persuaded 5 ogres to a deathmatch. Five minutes into the fight the Dwarf goes down. Plök tries to keep clear of the last remaining ogre, as the Fighter charges and gets his vitals beaten to a pulp. The wounded cleric starts crawling towards the fallen comrades, but is spotted by the ogre. Swinging his huge ball and chain, their only healer was about to be snuffed. Plök voluntarily tumbles directly into the ball's path getting her head smashed and her face ruined. Dead on impact. But it bought the cleric time to heal the Fighter and finish off the ogre, thus saving the entire group. One life for three, and all from a Rogue...who was eventually resurrected by her team in gratitude.
EPITAPH: Can I parry that Ball-and-chain with my face, please? I really want to save our cleric.
Lord Byrnn: Steve Achenbach (ilikepie@usa.net)
Male Brujah Vampire, Vampire: The Masquerade
CAUSE OF DEATH: Certain that his discipline of "Majesty" (a vampiric power preventing anyone from attacking you) would protect him from the six Assamites (vampire assassins) that were surrounding him, he kicked their leader in the groin, forgetting that any agression on his part would immediately nullify the effects of "Majesty."
EPITAPH: Dumb, stupid idiot.
Lt. Frank Castle: Eric Thompson (Int. Addr: tmo@sky.net)
Male Heavy Weapons Specialist, Twilight 2000
CAUSE OF DEATH: One night in Kalisz the party ambushed a convoy of light Russian vehicles. Lt. Castle aimed his .50 caliber sniper rifle at the lead anti-aircraft gun, and fired. The bullet hit the crew compartment and sliced completely through it without hitting a single piece of equipment or crewman, everyone inside making their save to avoid panicking and jumping out. Lt. Castle ran and put another building between him and he gun. The AA explosive rounds did a huge amount of damage to the intervening building, but the armor-piercing rounds slid right through like a knife through butter and did a complete job of vaporising the valiant sniper.
EPITAPH: If you shoot at a bigger gun, don't miss!
Lukewarm Landwalker: Dan O'Leary (dano@cybercomm.net)
Janitor/Freedom-Fighter/Smuggler, Tales From The Floating Vagabond
CAUSE OF DEATH: Tried to use the Jedi Mind Trick ("it was something I saw in a holo-vid once!") on a guard with heavy weapons and NO sense of humor.
EPITAPH: We aren't the smugglers you're looking for...move along. (URP!) *Move along!* (GASP!) MOVE ALONG! (GLUB!) PLEASE?!...
Luncheon Meat Man: Steve Achenbach (ilikepie@usa.net)
Male Supervillian able to assume the form of a humanoid assortment of meat products, Heroes [Villians] Unlimited
CAUSE OF DEATH: Being persued through the city, he bombed a hole in the roof of a building on top of which he was standing at the time. He jumped down through the hole. The building was a dog kennel.
EPITAPH: At least I wasn't "Fire Hydrant Man."
Ludgar: (no name)
Male Gangrel, Vamp: The Masquerade
CAUSE OF DEATH: While fighting the umbral shape shifter, this vampire swung his halberd (a twelve-foot long pole with an axe blade at the end) and botched four dice. He decapitated himself with his own halberd
EPITAPH: (no epitaph)
Luvas: Mitchell (wamaman4@aol.com)
Female Elven wizard, Dungeons and Dragons
CAUSE OF DEATH: Running to a militia-controlled city for necessities, she ticked off the border patrol for refusing to explain her business. A bard later penned an epic ballad of her death (very popular in my campaign world) -- "She was shot and shot and shot and shot and shot once or twice more, then the bayonettes, they flew, and then she was shot some more."
EPITAPH: And shes buying a stairway to heaven.
Magnus Barker: Bill Dunn (bdunn@epicsys.com)
Male anthropologist, Call of Cthulhu
CAUSE OF DEATH: While playing Masks of Nyarlathotep (a wicked campaign), the investigators encountered the resting place of Hypatia Masters, pregnant with the spawn of Nyarlathotep. In the confusion of SAN loss and attempts to kill the spawn, Barker lit a stick of dynamite (he was carrying 45 sticks). Barker was shot by another crazy investigator and dropped the dynamite at his own feet. The spawn of Nyarlathotep was killed as the cavern was brought down on the investigators' heads.
EPITAPH: Good at Anthropology, so-so at demolitions
The Man With No Name: Nik Evans (NJEvans616@hotmail.com)
Male Human Fighter/Mage, GURPS Fantasy
CAUSE OF DEATH: The amnesiac No Name would commonly boast no enemy could defeat him,a statement that he had kept true for 3 years.So when our party encountered a herd of 20 or so carnivoirus goats he naturally charged into battle.Needless to say he was quickly torn to pieces.Hanging on too a thread of life he shapechanged into a falcon to escape.Flying over the goats heads he failed to see the dwarven companions axe descend on him and was easily cut in two by it.
EPITAPH: He knew no monster could kill him,of course the PCs are not monsters.......
Maj. Osmond Balthazar Portifoy, Ret.: Steve Keck (theophobic@msn.com)
Male Military Historian, Call of Cthulhu (1920's)
CAUSE OF DEATH: Amongst a library's in the rare books viewing room, Major Portifoy found a rare Italian translation of the Unausprechlichen Kulten. Normally he would have been satisfied to simply peruse the book and return later, but at this time his sanity was not at its best. Knowing the curator would ask to inspect his valise before he left, the Major decided to create a diversion by starting a fire, while he made good his escape and stole the book. Unfortunately, he became lost amongst the rows and stacks of books. Shortly thereafter he was overcome with smoke inhalation, passed out, and was consumed by the fire.
EPITAPH: "I suppose I could stuff it down the back of my pants... No, that'll never work..."
Marco Polo: James Knipp (VvRAVNOSvV@hotmail.com)
Male Pixie Thief, AD&D
CAUSE OF DEATH: While scouting ahead for the rest of the party, someone yelled out Marco and he replied Polo (he had a fasination with the game) while 2 zombies came in from behind...
EPITAPH: "No-one can see me!" "MARCO" "Pol............."
Martin Dockfoot: Rp Bowman (yokeltania@yahoo.com)
Male Halfling Merchant, AD&D (Ravenloft)
CAUSE OF DEATH: This simple merchant assumed the curtain of fire around the Rakshasa's stairs was an illusion. It was, but he had not yet learned the magic words "I disbelieve."
EPITAPH: The GM thought he was just suicidal.
Maura: Jo (catwoman_147@hotmail.com)
Female Elven thief, AD&D
CAUSE OF DEATH: Maura was in a fight with several tanar'i who happened to have vorpal swords (it would take too long to explain why). Maura had a ring of regeneration. Her head was chopped off three times on a natural roll of twenty, and twice with rolls of eighteen and nineteen. Her compainions finally killed them all. She immediately tried to pick up one of their swords. It dealt her 5d6 points of fire damage, and she died once again. Her ring finally failed.
EPITAPH: Poor Maura... The DM was laughing so hard... "Another 20?!? Lemme see that die!"
Melubb of Ket: Ziggy
Male Gnomish Paladin (St Cuth.), AD&D
CAUSE OF DEATH: Stumbled upon an altar to Vecna in a deep, dark dungeon. Decided it was just as good a place as any to pray to St. Cuthbert. BOTH GODS appeared. After arguing over which of them would destroy him for his irreverence, they decided to both do him in. The greasy spot where once a gnome stood is still mourned over today by his companions.
EPITAPH: "Vecna, Cuthbert, an altar is an altar..."
Mickaronsil: Brian Holt
Male Halfling fighter/thief (1st level), AD&D 2nd ed.
CAUSE OF DEATH: Drowning, originally. Mick wore a lot of velvet clothing, and couldn't swim very well. A poorly executed jump over a creek followed by several swim check failures... The generous GM saved Mick with a passing wizard, who later botched two healing rolls in a row and caused fatal damage to my poor wounded halfling.
EPITAPH: And now I'll just apply pressure here...
Mike Stevens: Ismael Carmona (no address)
Male Ex-Soldier, Call of Cthulhu
CAUSE OF DEATH: Trying desperately to flee from several hungry ghouls, he decided to run away "top speed" and jump through a nearby window. Too bad he didn't see the tight iron bars on the outside part of the window... We found some bits and pieces later.
EPITAPH: At last, being unconscious, he didn't suffer much.
Mimarin: James (ryo_ohki@empathy.hostingcheck.com)
Female Mage, AD&D
CAUSE OF DEATH: After much success with a chaotic polymorph artifact -- with such memorable moments as destroying a bridge by walking over it as an elephant and falling in the river -- her final words were a request to the artifact to transform her into a bird to escape a band of orcs. I wonder if the orcs enjoyed ostrich steaks.
EPITAPH: Me: Ok, change me into a bird
Artifact: Ok
Me Noooo! swine! uurgh...
Mitchell Kinney: Andrew Kerr-Thompson (Ak-t@panix.com)
Male T'sa Chief Engineer, Alternity
CAUSE OF DEATH: Finally got my friend to join the game. He decided to be a crewman under me to learn the ropes, and the first assignment I give him, I go along to watch out for him. All he had to do was replace an airlock safety latch, so, naturally, he botched the rolls, blew out the entire airlock, decompressed half the ship (killing 23 crewmen), and threw us out into space, where I tried my best to kill him before my suit's air ran out and I died.
EPITAPH: Just couldn't let anyone go it alone, and now he hates you all.
Morberon Eredor: Madmax(GM) (madmax30@sojourn.com)
Male, Chaotic (Arcane spell user), Rolemaster Standard System
CAUSE OF DEATH: Magic came naturally to him, as did his ego. He learned his art by trial and error (with more of the latter). Standing before a crater filled with raw power drawn from the depths of the planet, he attempted to tap into it. He succeeded, yet was changed. Blond fur covered his body, huge functional bat wings hung from his back and his eyes glowed with a dark red light. Most would consider themselves blessed by fate, and never chance near certain death again. On a second attempt, it went quickly beyond his ability to control. After the flash and crackle of power, only ashes remained of the ego laden Chaotic.
EPITAPH: Once the fates smiled and gave him wings. Twice their anger burned him to ash.
Mortegro: Anonymous (no address)
Male Onyx Mage (Necromancer), Free-Form AD&D
CAUSE OF DEATH: A powerful wizard, Mortegro founded and gained control of a hole to the Abyss from which he summonded minor demons. In an attempt to achieve ultimate power, he wanted to summon a familiar out of the hole. Well, he failed his check miseribly, the magic went awry and he unwittingly summoned a Greater Balor and demanded its servitude. The Balor took one look at the mage and drop-kicked him into the hole.
EPITAPH: We are not amused....
Morgan Tamrith: Kent Arnold (no address)
Male Warrior, AD&D 2nd Edition
CAUSE OF DEATH: Poor mapping. I was the assigned mapper, we were exploring the caves of a local band of orcs who were troubling the local towns. We took care of the orcs with cunning, stealth and skill. What killed us was our exit from said caves. I told them we should go east, not south. Well they shouldnt have listened to me, we walked right into a dragons den, we had maybe 8-12 hp each. Only two of us survived, I ran, and the other player hid. Needless to say, they didnt exactly trust me for some time afterwards.
EPITAPH: I told you guys i was a poor mapper!
Mr. Trister: Greg Phinney (no address)
Male, Gnome buffoon, AD&D
CAUSE OF DEATH: Never cast spook on somebody holding a wand of fireballs, This little guy got nuked.
EPITAPH: The DM claims that I had it coming with the way that I was acting, c'mon he was a buffoon.
Nakor the Islani: Chris (no address)
Male Trickster, AD&D (based upon Riftwars/Serpentwars by Raymond E. Feist)
CAUSE OF DEATH: Attempted to light his hands on fire to impress some stupid Orcs and find his way in through a dark cave... didn't realize that it was a natural Naptha deposit...
EPITAPH: "This should lighten things up a bit... " **BANG**
(Name Lost in the Mists of Time): Timothy P. Coyle (timcoyle@attbi.com)
Male Fighter, AD&D 1st Edition
CAUSE OF DEATH: This poor slob was felled by a flesh to stone spell--and the stone was MICA, with the line of cleavage at a 45-degree angle to the floor. Hoping to rescue him, his companions tried to pick him up...
EPITAPH: Statues that flake and peel with the slightest touch should be admired from a distance...
Navarone: Castilion (Graalking2323@worldnet.att.net)
Male Dark Knight, PSX
CAUSE OF DEATH: When Fighting 7 Demons...alone... with only 257HP left, he tried to kill them all... when casting "Dark Flame" his most powerful spell.. he ended up casting it on himself and killed everyone.. he still lies there in ashes
EPITAPH: "When Casting magic... never cast it upon yourself."
Opavyon Lear: Brian Lassen (brain@games.dk)
Elven Sorcerer/Rogue, D&D 3E
CAUSE OF DEATH: Lear first managed to kill himself in a magic trap that flung him about 300 ft into the sky. Having been resurrected (and depleting party funds in doing so), he was subsequently killed by an angry Worg. Ironically, he could have been saved if the fighter hadn't botched his attack to kill the worg, the cleric hadn't botched his heal and the dwarf hadn't hit him with his hammer instead of gently nudging him in the cleric's direction. *sigh*
EPITAPH: All the party's dice-rolls and all the party's skill, couldn't save the elfling but made a funny kill.
Opavyon Lear: Brian Lassen (www.coupdegrace.dk)
Elven Roge/Soccerer, Ad&D, 3rd ed.
CAUSE OF DEATH: The heroes were questing for a final clue to the location of Donovans Grave. Opavyon is badly bitten by an overgrown wolf and instantly reduced to –9 HP. His friends realise they are about to lose the man with the plan and speed to the rescue. Arthur gets his sword caught between his legs and lands face down in front of a hellhound. The priest Asmudeus jumps through the gnolls with a Cure Heavy Wounds on his lips, and lands three inches short of Opavyon. Derlax the dwarf, standing opposite Asmudeus, get the brilliant idea to ‘tap’ Opavyon with his warhammer so the priest may still succeed in reaching him – and wacks Opavyon's face hard enough to send a troll flying (3 botches in a row – the gods willed it so).
EPITAPH: (Derlax looking at his hammer and back at Opavyons head) What a crooked blow... uh, I gut a great idea for a game! We will call it ‘Crooked’ or somethin’!
Orbben: Robb Beggs (robb_beggs@hotmail.com)
Male Fighter, probably human, AD&D
CAUSE OF DEATH: Whilst dungeon diving, finds a heavy case with an odd yellow marking on it. Inside is a very heavy, warm, slightly glowing, yet utterly unmagical rod. Makes a good club, so he keeps it. Vomiting, loss of hair, and odd burns appear over the next few days. Remove curse is no help. Death follows painfully.
EPITAPH: The rod was groovy, with one complication,
it was permeated with lethal radiation.
Orlando Rodriguez: Stingray
Male Circus Acrobat, Cthulhu (1920)
CAUSE OF DEATH: In the final chapter of an epic campaign, a wizard tried to summon an avatar of Nyarlathothep inside his mansion. The group was chained to a wall and were supposed to witness a ritual that was destined to fail and then have the chance to escape by using their combined STRENGTH to tear away a peace from the wooden wall, they were chained to. Orlando thought they messed up the campaign and they were to die anyway. He started insulting and irritating the wizard, who wanted to concentrate on his ritual. After multiple warnings to shut up, Orlando responded with "F*** you!" The villain responded with a spell, causing Orlandos heart to stop beating. The house was set on fire and the other party members could not escape, because without the dead acrobat, they were not strong enough.
EPITAPH: GM: "If you are helpless and the villain tells you to shut up 3 times, maybe you really should shut up."
Our Giant, Our Ride: Fantom Fiend (FantomFiend@aol.com)
18 Foot Giant, Palladium
CAUSE OF DEATH: Burst into a room suspected of having vampires, and saw a beautiful maiden in white robes. He immediately (no questions asked) staked her through the heart. When she didn't crumble to ash, he proceeded to $%@# her brains out (18 foot giant on 5 foot human female, do the math.) He was cursed with immortality by the god of death (she was his priestess), even when broken into small pieces. He annoyed the party with the fact he couldn't die for another four hours. At the opportune moment, we beheaded and gutted him, throwing most of his body to a number of demons, to be digested for all eternity.
EPITAPH: None, but the mage carries his beating heart in a box, and I'm wearing his twitching spine as a belt....
OwEn d'Ark: Andrew (palda@stratos.net)
Human Bounty Hunter/Mercenary Leader, SWR : DoE
CAUSE OF DEATH: After recieving his new custom made armor from a friend, OwEn proceeded to remove his current armor and change into the new stuff. Just as he was practically naked, his trusted leiutenant shot him in the head with a blaster rifle and took the 2 billion credit bounty on him.
EPITAPH: He killed the most,
more than anyone else could boast,
but now he lies on the ground, fried like toast.
Ozker the Hasty: Greg Mohler (greggo@pacific.mps.ohio-state.edu)
Male Human Mage, AD&D, 2nd ed.
CAUSE OF DEATH: Watching his party get thrashed by a flying demon, Ozker pulled out the confusingly worded Lightning Bolt scroll he found and began to read it. Unfortunately, he did not fully understand such spells, and accidentally caused the bolt to detonate with him at ground zero. The blast nearly killed the party, and severely wounded the demon, allowing the still-conscious ranger to dispatch the unholy beast. Naught was left of Ozker but a small pile of ashes and his hat.
EPITAPH: "No one wants to die, but when they do, they should go out like Ozker"
Paidir Paiste: Dana Starrling (timmer@hci.net)
Female Human, Alleria
CAUSE OF DEATH: I was upset with the game master at that point and went through three thousand different death ideas, in the end, I just had her stab herself in the heart... the GM was so anal she said that I missed and stabbed in my left breast instead of my heart. I eventually died, not instantly from piercing the heart, but gasping for air from a punctured lung. I think this may be the first case where the PC was trying to die and the GM was trying to make her live.
EPITAPH: There once was an elf named Paidir, She fought with the greatest of fear, Until early one night, Decided to take flight, and pierced not her heart but her lung...
Parn: PenDragon (jernkel@ccaonline.com)
Male Halfling Thief, AD&D
CAUSE OF DEATH: Natural causes, While attempting to pick the pocket of a companion for the umpteenth time, who HAD been charmed by a magic ring to like him, Parn was beaten beyond recognition upon discovery, and the revelation that his Half Orc Barbarian companion was no longer in posession of the ring that had saved him , oh so many times before.
EPITAPH: Veni, Vidi, Oopsie!
Party of Mutants: CdBd3rd (cdbd3rd@hotmail.com)
?, Gamma World
CAUSE OF DEATH: Party had found and repaired an old hot air balloon, and were travelling to "somewhere other than where we're at". Party sleeps, leaving one character to keep an eye on the balloon. He got bored and decided it was a great time to figure out some of the artifacts we'd found. Botched the rolls, and detonated the large ovaline sphere. (dirty fusion bomb) One character survived the blast, a huge bright orange orangutan. Damn shame we were a couple hundred feet up...
EPITAPH: None. All we could do was look at the guy and shake our heads. But at least he bought the next round of sodas.)
Pete-R-DOA: Joel Mathis (joelmathis@geocities.com)
Male, Dead Mea...er... Troubleshooter, Paranoia
CAUSE OF DEATH: Player muttered "I hate being a communist" in front of the rest of the group and the Computer.
EPITAPH: It is treason to give epitaphs to commie mutant traitors!
Potas Telarth: Phillip DesJardins (phillip@mbaysav.org)
Male Elven Mage, D&D 2nd Edition
CAUSE OF DEATH: Traveling through a desert with my first level companions, we encountered a desert troll. I have every reason to believe the DM didn't realize we had no way of beating this, and so he came up with this solution: a blue dragon. We had to roll for dragon fear, everyone failed and I rolled a 1. The DM ruled that instead of even running away from it like the rest of the party I simply tried burrowing into the sand, and the troll got a good whack in, killing me. Then the dragon swooped down, taking the troll with it, presumably for lunch. My party unceremoniously dumped my corpse into the nearest privy they could find.
EPITAPH: "Next time I'll try a solo career."
Prof. Pavlov Pearlman: Tim Schellenberg (eye_of_vecna@hotmail.com)
Male Antiquarian, Call of Cthulhu
CAUSE OF DEATH: Not trusting his companions on the ship, Pavlov set the timer on a crate of dynamite in the hold of the ship for 6 hours as he left to explore the Greenland cliffs. Halfway through his climb, he began to hear artillery shells whistling toward him. His instructions to the field gun crew were, "if anything on that mountain moves, shoot it". The player firing the field gun rolled an 02 (impale). 5 hours later the ship sank from a large explosion; drowning all hands. The Old Ones breathed a collective sigh of relief.
EPITAPH: "Hey chief, I see something moving on the mountain."
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