Mahmoud the Mummy

Possesses a "dry" sense of humor and considers himself eternally young at heart, he's fairly spry for a 3,500 year-old (tho' he'll only admit to being just a teensy bit over 1,500.... but we all know how vain those Middle Kingdom types can be!) Mahmoud's past is murky, at best.....

Rumored to be Royalty, but more likely just a well-connected servant of a well-connected court psychophant (one legend pegs him as a second-cousin of the fourth wife of the seventh son's son......) Prattles on about the glories of his "lost Egypt" to anyone within earshot.... especially after a few too many tannis root teas!

One particularly scandalous rumor has Mahmoud as a wholly unwitting and uninvited participant in Thetmos II's Funerary Festival of 3,600 BC.....

Apparently (or so wagging jackal tongues would have us believe!) Mahmoud was merely a hired Caterer who had the great misfortune of being wrapped up while taking a much-needed nap behind the Royal Mummification Tent.

Mistaken for just another of the King's loyal (and soon to be well-wrapped) retinue, Mahmoud was fast asleep when he joined the rest of the Royal help in their "en tomb" internment.

I'm sure we can all share our dehydrated friend's befuddlment upon waking from a 5,000 year nap!

The worst of it is, our mummified amigo claims that he STILL hasn't been paid for his services!!!! Those Egyptian Royals sound pretty modern in that respect, don't they?