CURLY

Has a heart as big as all outdoors, adopts stray cats, dogs and people down on their luck. Was instrumental in the closing down of the "Endangered Animal Show" after misreading a headline in the "Tattler-Bugle and Innuendo" that claimed Killer Goriller and others were being mistreated by the Cayman Island registered limited partnership trust behind the traveling show.

"I was never treated better in my life" trumpeted Killer, quoted in Variety shortly after the show's closing. "That Curly should've kept her mind on her own troubles instead of creating them for hard-working entertainers like myself!"

Curly offered Killer a home in her doublewide trailer, but our primate professional declined, due to his alleged allergies to polyester and linoleum.